Abuse is a learned behavior.

An abusive man's behavior is shaped by people of importance in his life.  His beliefs and attitudes on how women should be treated were taught throughout his childhood with parental teaching, discipline and role modeling.  The relationships he grows up with can be the only source of information on how a relationship works thus, shaping his attitudes and beliefs about women.  As he goes through life, these attitudes and beliefs become habitual.  Reinforcement for abusive behavior is found everywhere in our society.  In this Eminem video, the cycle of violence is displayed in a positive way.  Rihanna sings that she "likes the way it hurts."  This creates acceptance and reinforcement for these behaviors.  From these types of videos, a man who is predisposed to abuse gets pushed even further when he views this material.  Empathy for his partner becomes less and less.  Awareness of abuse in our culture and resistance to any form of it will create reform and movement. Just as the quote says on my homepage, communities need to stand up to abusers and not look the other way.  This is the right thing to do.  Standing up to abuse will benefit everyone. 

Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

Parents are the first and most important teachers.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.  
         
                                   

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/201004/anger-men-and-love

Men learn their attitudes and beliefs throughout their childhood.  When they become adults, their behaviors and attitudes become habits.  Here is an article which gives a synopsis of why men are abusive.

Community awareness of abuse is an important step to stopping domestic violence.  Here are some websites to assist in community action.

http://www.ncadv.org/

                                                       http://www.transformcommunities.org/